Unit 3: Get Clear on Consent.
Pause here!
This lesson references sexual assault. Take care of yourself as you learn and discuss. Stop anytime you need to. Looking for a way to regulate your emotions, and if it helps, practice this Box Breathing technique from Headspace.
IN THIS LESSON
Consent applies to every behavior, which means consent also applies to sex.
It’s crucial that you know this, so we’ll just spell out here to be extra, extra clear.
A person has the right to consent to every sexual behavior they participate in. You are responsible for asking each person if they want to participate in a sexual behavior. If you don’t ask someone if they want to participate in a sexual behavior and you do it anyway, that’s sexual violence. Many times, it’s called rape, which means someone was forced to have sex.
Consent also applies to our digital interactions. Making a sexual comment on someone’s post, asking for or forwarding nudes, or sending someone sexually explicit messages is unsafe. Imagine the scenarios below and how a person might ask for consent for a sexual behavior in each situation:
A person could say any of the following:
“Would you want to…?”
“Would it be okay if I…?”
“I want to …, is that okay?”
“This is embarrassing, but can I give you a kiss?”
Or something else altogether
And, then wait for an answer. Respect whatever the other person says.
It’s not okay to cross someone’s boundaries or touch someone in a way they did not consent to. Not only is that a disrespectful and violent action towards someone else, it’s also against the law.
The laws about sexual violence are different by state. So, great news, it’s time for a research project.
With your trusted adult, download the attached worksheet and visit the following websites. Answer the questions to figure out the laws related to sexual violence in your state.
You want to hold hands with someone during a scary movie on the couch. What might you say to ask for consent?
You’ve been “going out” with someone for two months and you’ve only been holding hands. You go together to your Spring Dance and want to give them a kiss, what might you say to ask for consent?
You want to have sex with someone. What might you say to get consent to make sure all sexual behaviors are okay?